what it’s like to write a New York Times Op Ed [UPDATE]
It’s amazing. I can only say what my experience was, of course, and my experience was almost certainly not typical. I had a lot of help, through two first drafts, from my brilliant literary agent and...
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the social justice argument for a biological approach to sex
That sweaty-toothed monster in “Finding Nemo,” who lures Dory and Marlin toward her bobbing, glowing appendage? That’s the female deep sea anglerfish. The male deep sea anglerfish is a small lump...
View Articlethis was the best thing that could have happened to me on International...
The Sunday Times ran six letters to the editor about my op ed about how responsive desire is not a disease. Only one of them agrees with me. But that one letter? It was from Judy Norsigian. If that...
View Articlestay curious: the secret skill that will help you change your sex life… and...
I’ve been hearing from people who’ve begun trying to explain ideas from the book to other people – like, arousal nonconcordance and that sex is not a drive – and people just flat out don’t believe...
View Articlea new metaphor for desire every week
Here’s a thing they don’t tell you about writing a book: once you’ve written the book, you are not done writing. If you’re very, very lucky, they’ll ask you to write a ton of other stuff, too. Stuff...
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the one reason I haven’t shared that tea/consent thing
Lots of people have shared it with me, the “Consent: not actually that complicated” thing, including the little video. Summary: you wouldn’t force tea on someone who doesn’t want tea, and the same...
View Articleaudiobook of Come as You Are!
One of the things I’ve been busy doing instead of writing blog posts is reading the entirety of my book out loud, while sitting in a tiny sound-proof room. The result is now available for pre-order...
View ArticleAASECT update
Just a quick note for folks: I mentioned that I would upload my slides from my talk, “In the Middle… of the Brain: Affective Neuroscience for Sex Professionals,” to my blog. Here they are. I also...
View ArticleFlibanserin, the FDA, and the longing for spontaneous sexual desire
The FDA Advisory Committee voted 18-6 to recommend approval of Flibanserin, the twice-failed antidepressant being marketed as “pink Viagra.” Quick summary: the drug increases “sexually satisfying...
View Articlepleasure is the measure: one simple rule to radically improve your sex life
I’ve been getting a lot of emails lately from people who are struggling with sex in a wide variety of ways: My partner wants to have sex but I’m not sure I’m ready, but I also feel bad about the fact...
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why I am sex educator married to Erika Moen
It’s tricky to write a review of a book that includes a review of my own book – including this, from pg. 210: But this page perfectly illustrates (ha, see what I did there?) what I love about Erika...
View ArticleNational Coming Out Day
Fifteen years ago, in Indiana, I participated in GLSEN’s “Day of Silence.” What you do is: you don’t talk. You don’t say anything. It’s to raise awareness around bullying and harassment of LGBTQ folks....
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in which emily brings the science
Hey everybody, in about two hours, I’ll spend 12 minutes at Chicago Ideas Week explaining responsive desire and why Flibanserin is bogus. Hilariously, I go on about two hours after Cindy Whitehead,...
View Articlewhat we call it (all the content warnings in the world – sexual violence)
A lot of people in my social media have posted this New York Magazine article about the failure of feminism in the cultural dialogue about consent. The article – titled “The Game Is Rigged: Why sex...
View Articlecalling all sex positive folks! #tweetyourlube
In her article at Salon, Rachel Kramer Bussel saved us all the trouble of comprehensively rebutting UFC Women’s Bantamweight Champion Ronda Rousey’s terrible advice to Maxim readers that using lube is...
View Articlea sex book, in the top science & tech books of 2015? yes!
YOU GUYS. Come as You Are was nominated as one of the top 15 Goodreads Best Science & Technology Book of 2015. This is not a category where you expect to find a sex advice book, so I’m really,...
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#obostaughtme I’m normal, and now I want to give back. So: I’m giving away...
Our Bodies, Ourselves is raising $100,000 to supports it efforts in promoting women’s health around the world, using evidence-based health education. OBOS was the first book that taught me that I and...
View ArticleChicago Ideas Week video
Hey everybody! The video of my talk from Chicago Ideas week talk is up! It’s 12 minutes of me Bringing the Science. I had a great time in Chicago and the Ideas Week people treated us speakers like we...
View Articleemily’s 180,000 word love letter to romance novels
A hundred years ago, I read 50 Shades of Grey and found it to be the worst novel I have ever finished… but I also saw what worked for so many people about the story. I saw, because I am a reader of...
View Articlemy TEDx talk! “Unlocking the Door to Your Authentic Sexual Wellbeing”
In January I went to Reno and spent about fifteen minutes explaining the two keys to unlock the door to your own authentic sexual wellbeing. [SPOILER: the keys are CONFIDENCE and JOY] And for those who...
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